Alright, so I've been on hiatus for a while.... a long while. I'm sorry readers for disappearing like that. Its been a long hard road back to normal life for me. After the amputation I was just not feeling inspired to cook or write but things are getting back on track. I'm walking with just a cane, without it usually at home, and trying to increase strength and stamina. I mean really, I lose my cane all the time! I'm feeling normal again and have energy, and my creative inner self is emerging once more.
In additional news, I have a few friends that are traveling and doing amazing things so I have asked them to team up with me in this Spicy Kitchen and do some cameos about their food adventures. I love watching shows about going all over the world and eating amazing food so why not get it first hand here? The real story, not what they use for television. You can read their stories and have a little minny vaca right in your boring little cubicle. All that's needed is a glass of wine and sexy foreigner. No? Just me then! I hope you enjoy our little adventures!!
1.03.2014
Welcome 2014
It's the start of another new year and I find myself looking back on the year before. So many things happened in 2013 it's hard to believe it was only one year. I had an amputation of my right leg, above the knee, learned to walk with a prosthesis, and am still learning what it means to be an amputee. I honestly had no idea how much my leg was hindering me before and how much more I would be able to hope to do without it. I'm still learning to walk without a cane. It takes time and everyone keeps telling me how fast I'm actually recovering but it still feels quite slow.
I apologize to you, my readers, for not continuing to blog. I have resolved for the new year to get back into the swing of things and keep cooking. Hopefully inspiring you to try new things or teach you new ways. I feel at home in the kitchen. It is like yoga for some people. It brings me back to my happy place, unless of course I set the kitchen on fire, in which case I would be in an angry place. But I digress, cooking is my Zen.
I made caramels for the first time this Christmas and gave them as gifts to people. I got such a huge am out of love for them in return and a plea to sell them that I have been in the process of starting to sell them on Etsy.com. It's not up and running yet but I'll keep you posted. Right now I have 4 flavors: Salted Bourbon, Jalapeño, Orange Honey, and Bacon. I know, some sound weird but trust me, they are just the right amount of wrong to get you hooked!
Alright, I'm heading off to get this etsy shop up and running for ya'll! Happy new year!
I apologize to you, my readers, for not continuing to blog. I have resolved for the new year to get back into the swing of things and keep cooking. Hopefully inspiring you to try new things or teach you new ways. I feel at home in the kitchen. It is like yoga for some people. It brings me back to my happy place, unless of course I set the kitchen on fire, in which case I would be in an angry place. But I digress, cooking is my Zen.
I made caramels for the first time this Christmas and gave them as gifts to people. I got such a huge am out of love for them in return and a plea to sell them that I have been in the process of starting to sell them on Etsy.com. It's not up and running yet but I'll keep you posted. Right now I have 4 flavors: Salted Bourbon, Jalapeño, Orange Honey, and Bacon. I know, some sound weird but trust me, they are just the right amount of wrong to get you hooked!
Alright, I'm heading off to get this etsy shop up and running for ya'll! Happy new year!
10.03.2013
Gyro Salad
I don't know about you, but I love the Mediterranean classic, Gyros. People disagree on the correct pronunciation. Is it Gi-row, is it guero, or is the g silent and pronounced Euro? I personally pronounce it "Year-ro" but that is my personal preference. Never the less, I had a pound of ground beef that I didn't know what to do with. I didn't want the usual go-to's like spaghetti, meat loaf, burgers, etc. I was looking around online for an idea and I found someone had done Gyros with ground beef! Truly inspired idea since I don't regularly have lamb-on-a-spic on hand. I looked up a few more recipes for Gyro meat to see what spices they had in common and if they matched ones I had in the spice rack (yes, I'm attacking that spice rack to see what uses I can come up with for some of those less used items like marjoram and thyme used in this recipe.) If you are looking for something with a lot of spices you don't regularly use, this is as good as any. Sometimes we all need to get out of the week night dinner rut because, let's face it, we all have a string of go-to recipes when things get busy. This one is delicious, quick, and easy.
I also decided to make a salad with the Gyro meet because I'm trying to up my leafy green intake. I'm trying to replace bread with leafy greens but it's going to be a struggle. I liken my love for bread to those of chocoholics. I, Devon, am a breadaholic. I cannot resist the smell of fresh baked bread and just want to grab a loaf and rip a fresh piece off to dip in butter. I also cannot resist the feeling of tearing into a crusty French baguette. There, I admit it. First step is to try and replace it with something else, hence the salads. I digress, back to dinner.
Brown one pound of ground beef with the following:
1/2 small onion diced
1 tbs minced garlic
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp dried marjoram
1/2 tsp dried rosemary
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
Onion salt to taste
After thoroughly browned, add 1/4 c water and let simmer for 10 minutes
Meanwhile mix 8 oz. of plain Greek yogurt with 1 1/2 tsp dried dill, 2 tsp olive oil, 2 tsp minced garlic, 1 tsp minced onion, 1 tsp minced cucumber without skin, 1 tbs lemon juice, and onion salt and pepper to taste. This is the Tzaziki Sauce that goes on Gyros. If you like it thick then make ahead and let it sit overnight. Otherwise the runniness is a good consistency for a salad dressing and is how we used it.
For the main event, the salad, we used a leafy lettuce. In a side note, most people know that the greener the leaf the better for you but, did you know why? Well, the exposure to the sun makes the leaf turn greener to protect itself, much like a tan I would think. With the over production of produce that goes on today the fruits and vegetables are less likely to be kissed by the sun and get those dark colors. Gala apples for instance, we all know to be a light pink, however, they should be a darker red but don't get decent exposure anymore! So, moral of the soap box rant, get fruits and veggies deep in color. They are better for you and carry in their sun-kissed skin the nutrients we need!!
In the salad we added kalmatta olives, cucumber, tomatoes, and onions.
I also decided to make a salad with the Gyro meet because I'm trying to up my leafy green intake. I'm trying to replace bread with leafy greens but it's going to be a struggle. I liken my love for bread to those of chocoholics. I, Devon, am a breadaholic. I cannot resist the smell of fresh baked bread and just want to grab a loaf and rip a fresh piece off to dip in butter. I also cannot resist the feeling of tearing into a crusty French baguette. There, I admit it. First step is to try and replace it with something else, hence the salads. I digress, back to dinner.
Brown one pound of ground beef with the following:
1/2 small onion diced
1 tbs minced garlic
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp dried marjoram
1/2 tsp dried rosemary
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
Onion salt to taste
After thoroughly browned, add 1/4 c water and let simmer for 10 minutes
Meanwhile mix 8 oz. of plain Greek yogurt with 1 1/2 tsp dried dill, 2 tsp olive oil, 2 tsp minced garlic, 1 tsp minced onion, 1 tsp minced cucumber without skin, 1 tbs lemon juice, and onion salt and pepper to taste. This is the Tzaziki Sauce that goes on Gyros. If you like it thick then make ahead and let it sit overnight. Otherwise the runniness is a good consistency for a salad dressing and is how we used it.
In the salad we added kalmatta olives, cucumber, tomatoes, and onions.
Finally, we are ready for assembly! Add meat to the top of the salad, then dressing, then feta cheese. It was superb, really. Kind of like a taco salad but with a Mediterranean twist. You could obviously put it all into a pita if you so desire. I'm really liking deconstructing foods into salads. I'll probably continue to do it so I hope you are along for the ride!
10.02.2013
Buffalo Chicken Salad
We all are all familiar with that time of the month.... when there is nothing in the pantry that is. I know what you thought. (No chocolate dessert for that time just yet.) No, today the pantry and fridge were scarce so I thought about what sounded good. There is a wrap at Einstein Bros. Bagels that is a chicken salad with buffalo sauce. It's really pretty good if made correctly, which sometimes they skimp on the ingredients. Anyway, back to today, I was inspired by wanting that flavor but not wanting the extra bread. With just a few ingredients, it was so easy to make a great salad that had a little kick.
I filled a bowl with mixed greens, added chopped celery, cucumber, and avocado. For the chicken salad I used one of the large cans of chicken breast (drained), one tbs of chopped onion, one tbs Hellman's olive oil mayo, onion salt, and Louisiana hot sauce to taste. Mix them all together, scoop onto salad, and enjoy! S added a Klaussen pickle to hers and I added a squeeze of lemon wedge. It needed the acidity so you should use whatever you prefer.
On another note, I have started gaining some weight. What with the missing of a leg causing me to be less active and all the traveling increasing my fast food intake, it was bound to happen. Now that my pants aren't fitting and my bras are over flowing I figured I needed a diet because I have no money to buy new clothes that do fit. Oh and I want to be healthy too... kind of. I have decided to join the millions of others that are also on weight watchers and, well, watch my weight. Also, I plan to bump up my exercising which is easier now that I have my prosthesis!! This does not mean I will be changing all of my food to only salad and stuff. Trust me! Butter and I have a tight relationship and wine and I have a therapeutic love that my mental status can not afford to quit right now. I will merely be letting you know the points of the meals that I make. For example, this one is 4 points. Pretty good for a meal! Enjoy!
I filled a bowl with mixed greens, added chopped celery, cucumber, and avocado. For the chicken salad I used one of the large cans of chicken breast (drained), one tbs of chopped onion, one tbs Hellman's olive oil mayo, onion salt, and Louisiana hot sauce to taste. Mix them all together, scoop onto salad, and enjoy! S added a Klaussen pickle to hers and I added a squeeze of lemon wedge. It needed the acidity so you should use whatever you prefer.
On another note, I have started gaining some weight. What with the missing of a leg causing me to be less active and all the traveling increasing my fast food intake, it was bound to happen. Now that my pants aren't fitting and my bras are over flowing I figured I needed a diet because I have no money to buy new clothes that do fit. Oh and I want to be healthy too... kind of. I have decided to join the millions of others that are also on weight watchers and, well, watch my weight. Also, I plan to bump up my exercising which is easier now that I have my prosthesis!! This does not mean I will be changing all of my food to only salad and stuff. Trust me! Butter and I have a tight relationship and wine and I have a therapeutic love that my mental status can not afford to quit right now. I will merely be letting you know the points of the meals that I make. For example, this one is 4 points. Pretty good for a meal! Enjoy!
9.21.2013
Butternut Squash Soup
Last week when I was at the grocery store, I was drawn to the squash section. It showed the beginning signs of fall. The cool weather to come, the shorter days, and the coming of all things pumpkin. Starbucks has already jumped on the pumpkin train for the fall. For me however, the butternut squash was inspiring me. So I got one and it has sat in the fridge taunting me until yesterday when I got the umpft to get back into the kitchen. It was raining here and kind of gloomy so soup just seemed like the perfect idea. Went to my trusted allrecipes.com and looked at the top rated recipes they had to offer and many many reviews of what people had thought and done to change the recipe. Finally, I settled on the ingredients I was happy with. Here is the preview to how it turned out:
First, I started by roasting the butternut squash in the oven at 400° for an hour. I stabbed it a few times all over like you do to a potato and placed it on a baking sheet whole. Some people said half it but it's not necessary. After an hour push a fork into it, if it goes smooth like butter, it's perfect! This picture isn't great but I wanted to show you that the skin just peels right off. Go ahead and peel it off and/or scoop out the meat. Discard the seeds and pulp.
Look how delicious and juicy it is! It should just scoop right out easily with a normal spoon.
Peel both an apple or 2 and a potato. The potato is going to give a creamy texture that allows you to use less cream cheese and lower the fat content. The apple is just to taste fabulous. Then chop them all up. Doesn't have to be perfect cubes, it's all going to get blended in the end.
Meanwhile, in a large stockpot, add 2 tbs of butter with the chopped medium onion and garlic. Cook on medium heat until the onion is translucent. It takes about 10 minutes. Then at the chicken stock and seasonings. If you want to make this a vegetarian dish you could use vegetable stock. Bring to a boil and dump in the squash, potato, and apples. You can stop there with the veggies and get a delicious soup but I wanted to add some more veggies that were going bad in the fridge so we added a carrot and about a cup of mushrooms.
Here is me geeking out in the kitchen. Got my new leg on!
Let that simmer, uncovered for about 30 minutes. Then it gets a little tricky. Put it in the blender or food processor with a stick of cream cheese. Use more cheese if you prefer. Then dump it back into the original pot. Put the heat on low and taste! Mine needed a little somethin' somethin' to round out the flavor and make it more complex. If it's just ehhh okay then chances are pretty high you won't want a whole bowl of it, let alone a second helping. So for me, I used a little trick I keep in my back pocket, I added about 2 tablespoons of sherry wine. This stuff is just for cooking because it is very potent! Taste and adjust as needed. Mine also needed more salt but I love salt. S doesn't like bacon (I know, it's really a crime, but what are you going to do?) so I didn't do this, but bacon would be good crumbled on top. If you like more of a sweet soup you could add some cinnamon and brown sugar. In an attempt
to make the picture pretty we added "a dollop of Daisy" sour cream but it just
sank into the soup...haha, oops. But it did taste really good.
We had a salad as our side and a nice crusty bread like a fresh French baguette.it. We also had a nice dry white wine which cut the richness of the soup better than a red. After eating it S and I thought that it made a pretty good seafood bisque substitute. It is quite a but healthier than bisque (who needs all that heavy cream?) and would taste great with lobster, craw-fish, crab, or shrimp added in at the end. Who knew?!
Feels good to be back.
Butternut Squash Recipe:
1 med butternut squash
1 potato
1-2 apples (I used granny smith)
1 med onion chopped
2-3 garlic cloves minced
32 Oz. Chicken stock (1 boxed chicken stock)
Salt and pepper to taste
1 tsp marjoram
1/2 tsp nutmeg
(I did not, but some people said cayenne pepper added was a good twist)
1 8oz pkg cream cheese
2 tbs sherry wine
9.20.2013
I have returned!
Hello there friends! I know it's been a while... ok let's be honest, it's been basically forever since I've posted. Well dry those tears and let's get back in the kitchen!
As many of you know, I under went massive surgery and that is why I have been gone. After the difficult decision to have an amputation of my right leg, I am so happy to inform you that I am back on my feet... or foot and a new foot replacement. Also, after much training, sweat, and tears I can walk without assistance! That is what allows me to get back in the kitchen. So let's get to it!
Today, S and I were deciding what to have for lunch. We settled on a salad (trying to thin down the waistline) and a grilled cheese (so much for the waistline idea...). so here we are making a nice salad with spinach, kale, spring mix, cucumber, and avocado and decide to have some ranch dressing on it (ok the waistline is really not going to get smaller this way but I'm over it). We put the buttermilk in and the mayo in and... awesome. We have NO ranch packets! What is that quote?... "necessity is the mother of invention" by Plato. So, we prevailed by making our own ranch seasoning mix. Hidden Valley has been found! We combined a few recipes to create our own out of the seasonings we already had in the cupboard. It turned out pretty tasty! Even a little tangy which was delicious with the avocado. All of you who are recently married and have gotten those huge collections of spices in a spice rack, this is a perfect way to use it. You're welcome for making ranch available at anytime:
Dinkens' Ranch Mix
Makes about 1cup
1/2 c minced dried parsley flakes
2 tbs dried minced onion
1/2 tbs dried dill weed
1 tbs onion salt
1 tbs garlic salt
1 tbs garlic powder
1 tsp celery salt
2 tbs dried chives
Pepper to taste
Add 1 tbs of the ranch mix with 1 c mayo and 1 c buttermilk for ranch dressing!
Side note, I happen to like the chunkyish texture with the minced onion and chives but if you don't, blending the ingredients in a coffee grinder will give you a fine powdery texture. Here is the finished product in a jar... I now have ranch for 16 more times! Woohoo! I also notice that these little jars of ranch look like a great Christmas gift!! This recipe will also be added to my allrecipes.com profile!
As many of you know, I under went massive surgery and that is why I have been gone. After the difficult decision to have an amputation of my right leg, I am so happy to inform you that I am back on my feet... or foot and a new foot replacement. Also, after much training, sweat, and tears I can walk without assistance! That is what allows me to get back in the kitchen. So let's get to it!
Today, S and I were deciding what to have for lunch. We settled on a salad (trying to thin down the waistline) and a grilled cheese (so much for the waistline idea...). so here we are making a nice salad with spinach, kale, spring mix, cucumber, and avocado and decide to have some ranch dressing on it (ok the waistline is really not going to get smaller this way but I'm over it). We put the buttermilk in and the mayo in and... awesome. We have NO ranch packets! What is that quote?... "necessity is the mother of invention" by Plato. So, we prevailed by making our own ranch seasoning mix. Hidden Valley has been found! We combined a few recipes to create our own out of the seasonings we already had in the cupboard. It turned out pretty tasty! Even a little tangy which was delicious with the avocado. All of you who are recently married and have gotten those huge collections of spices in a spice rack, this is a perfect way to use it. You're welcome for making ranch available at anytime:
Dinkens' Ranch Mix
Makes about 1cup
1/2 c minced dried parsley flakes
2 tbs dried minced onion
1/2 tbs dried dill weed
1 tbs onion salt
1 tbs garlic salt
1 tbs garlic powder
1 tsp celery salt
2 tbs dried chives
Pepper to taste
Add 1 tbs of the ranch mix with 1 c mayo and 1 c buttermilk for ranch dressing!
Side note, I happen to like the chunkyish texture with the minced onion and chives but if you don't, blending the ingredients in a coffee grinder will give you a fine powdery texture. Here is the finished product in a jar... I now have ranch for 16 more times! Woohoo! I also notice that these little jars of ranch look like a great Christmas gift!! This recipe will also be added to my allrecipes.com profile!
2.07.2013
Ginger Today
Well, I said that I would try to go in order telling you what has happened to me in my short 25 years of life. However, the last 10 years has been literally full of ups and downs. Even after cancer, my life has never gone back to normal. If anything, it has been at a constant state of hard for these long 10 years.
I live in a daily state of pain that most would find debilitating if a "Freaky Friday" sort of occurrence would happen with a normal person and myself. Being that I live with this pain all the time, I have learned to deal and try to function normally. What is normal though?
In addition to the pain, the muscles in my leg do not work correctly. Mostly because I tore the Quad from the tendon and it was 2 years before doctors realized it as well as muscle that has started to turn into bone due to all the trauma it has sustained. My bad leg pretty much only allows me to walk. I can not run, climb up or down stairs, ride a bike, wear any shoe that is not flat and stay on my foot easily (i.e. no flip flops or high heels) and pretty much anything other than walking in a straight line. I still have great difficulty lifting my leg and cannot straighten it out using only my muscles (like kicking).
Finally in the knee department, the knee replacement is in a state of chronic infection. I have had multiple surgeries to try and get rid of it but the pesky thing just won't go away! (As if it were my only problem hahaha!)
Other than my leg problems I am in chronic kidney disease of stage 3 and have had an episode of acute kidney failure. I suffer from chronic anemia and hypertension.
Why am I telling you all of this? I assure you it is not to make you feel sorry for me or pity me. I have been doing this for 10 years and feel I have overcome many difficult obstacles despite my health problems. In an attempt to continue to live my life I went to school and got an Associates, Bachelors, and Masters degrees. I have worked jobs on and off while going to school but am severely limited in types of jobs I am able to take because of the stamina of my leg and functioning abilities. I have amazing friends and my family is the best I could have ever asked for. I feel that because of everything my family has gone through with my health problems, we are closer than any other family I have ever met. I honestly think if my mother had the funds to do so, she would by a huge chunk of land and build a compound of houses on it for each of us to live together forever. And honestly, that would be ok with me. Like I said, we are really really close.
I've gotten off topic again. With the recent acute kidney failure I went through, I had to go off all of my antibiotics that fight the chronic infection in my knee and as you probably guessed, the infection got worse. I had another surgery to try and clean it out, yet again, and am taking IV antibiotics from home. But like before, it didn't work. If anything, it's made the pain worse lately. So much so I have been using a cane and wheelchair when I go out o the house. I was given 3 options to proceed: having a new knee replacement put in, an above the knee amputation, or a rotationplasty. This suddenly became one of the hardest decisions to make.... ever! I had never even heard of a rotationplasty. This is what has been going on in my life that has made me aloof and posting a lot less.
Turns out, that it is a rare and extremely complex surgery in which they take the knee out and rotate (hence the rotation in the name) the foot backwards and put in onto your femur so that your ankle becomes your knee joint. It is really hard to picture so the best I can offer you is this informational video from the Mayo Clinic that helped me: Rotationplasty.
I talked to tons of people and did tons of research and finally decided to have the rotationplasty. You see, for the past 10 years I have neither been able to identify with those classified as healthy and able, nor have I been considered disabled or sick. I have been lost in this in between all alone. I can not function like the healthy and capable but a knee replacement is not seen in the eyes of most people as a disability. I can not tell you how many times I have been told "My grandma (or whoever) had a knee replacement and they can do everything they want. Have you tried physical therapy?" Don't you think I would have tried ANYTHING? People can be so weird. Anyway, once I decided that I expected it to take a long time to get everything finalized and dates chosen. I was getting antsy and wishing it would just hurry up and happen. Oops... sometimes you get what you ask for!
Because of the infection, it is necessary to remove the artificial knee and put in a spacer that has tons of antibiotics on it and let is basically seep and kill and make the inside of my leg the most sanitary place in my body. That spacer is being put in Feb 27th and will stay in there for 8 weeks. While it is there I will not be able to walk on it so I will become a master in the art of crutches as well as not be able to bend the knee. After that 8 weeks I will drive to Tampa, FL at Moffitt Cancer Center and have the rotationplasty by one of the best doctors in the world. (I might be putting in my own bias about the doctor but only a little, he really is very innovative and world renowned). I will then proceed to stay in Florida for 3-4 months to make sure everything goes well and attaches correctly and you know... works. Hahaha.
Well, the cat is out of the bag now. Everyone knows I will soon be an amputee. Very scary thought. Also exciting about all the things I will be able to do. But terrifying! Also, something I didn't expect, I'm even terrified of hitting the publish button on this post. Putting it out there for everyone to know and judge me for. Here goes everything....
I live in a daily state of pain that most would find debilitating if a "Freaky Friday" sort of occurrence would happen with a normal person and myself. Being that I live with this pain all the time, I have learned to deal and try to function normally. What is normal though?
In addition to the pain, the muscles in my leg do not work correctly. Mostly because I tore the Quad from the tendon and it was 2 years before doctors realized it as well as muscle that has started to turn into bone due to all the trauma it has sustained. My bad leg pretty much only allows me to walk. I can not run, climb up or down stairs, ride a bike, wear any shoe that is not flat and stay on my foot easily (i.e. no flip flops or high heels) and pretty much anything other than walking in a straight line. I still have great difficulty lifting my leg and cannot straighten it out using only my muscles (like kicking).
Finally in the knee department, the knee replacement is in a state of chronic infection. I have had multiple surgeries to try and get rid of it but the pesky thing just won't go away! (As if it were my only problem hahaha!)
Other than my leg problems I am in chronic kidney disease of stage 3 and have had an episode of acute kidney failure. I suffer from chronic anemia and hypertension.
Why am I telling you all of this? I assure you it is not to make you feel sorry for me or pity me. I have been doing this for 10 years and feel I have overcome many difficult obstacles despite my health problems. In an attempt to continue to live my life I went to school and got an Associates, Bachelors, and Masters degrees. I have worked jobs on and off while going to school but am severely limited in types of jobs I am able to take because of the stamina of my leg and functioning abilities. I have amazing friends and my family is the best I could have ever asked for. I feel that because of everything my family has gone through with my health problems, we are closer than any other family I have ever met. I honestly think if my mother had the funds to do so, she would by a huge chunk of land and build a compound of houses on it for each of us to live together forever. And honestly, that would be ok with me. Like I said, we are really really close.
I've gotten off topic again. With the recent acute kidney failure I went through, I had to go off all of my antibiotics that fight the chronic infection in my knee and as you probably guessed, the infection got worse. I had another surgery to try and clean it out, yet again, and am taking IV antibiotics from home. But like before, it didn't work. If anything, it's made the pain worse lately. So much so I have been using a cane and wheelchair when I go out o the house. I was given 3 options to proceed: having a new knee replacement put in, an above the knee amputation, or a rotationplasty. This suddenly became one of the hardest decisions to make.... ever! I had never even heard of a rotationplasty. This is what has been going on in my life that has made me aloof and posting a lot less.
Turns out, that it is a rare and extremely complex surgery in which they take the knee out and rotate (hence the rotation in the name) the foot backwards and put in onto your femur so that your ankle becomes your knee joint. It is really hard to picture so the best I can offer you is this informational video from the Mayo Clinic that helped me: Rotationplasty.
I talked to tons of people and did tons of research and finally decided to have the rotationplasty. You see, for the past 10 years I have neither been able to identify with those classified as healthy and able, nor have I been considered disabled or sick. I have been lost in this in between all alone. I can not function like the healthy and capable but a knee replacement is not seen in the eyes of most people as a disability. I can not tell you how many times I have been told "My grandma (or whoever) had a knee replacement and they can do everything they want. Have you tried physical therapy?" Don't you think I would have tried ANYTHING? People can be so weird. Anyway, once I decided that I expected it to take a long time to get everything finalized and dates chosen. I was getting antsy and wishing it would just hurry up and happen. Oops... sometimes you get what you ask for!
Because of the infection, it is necessary to remove the artificial knee and put in a spacer that has tons of antibiotics on it and let is basically seep and kill and make the inside of my leg the most sanitary place in my body. That spacer is being put in Feb 27th and will stay in there for 8 weeks. While it is there I will not be able to walk on it so I will become a master in the art of crutches as well as not be able to bend the knee. After that 8 weeks I will drive to Tampa, FL at Moffitt Cancer Center and have the rotationplasty by one of the best doctors in the world. (I might be putting in my own bias about the doctor but only a little, he really is very innovative and world renowned). I will then proceed to stay in Florida for 3-4 months to make sure everything goes well and attaches correctly and you know... works. Hahaha.
Well, the cat is out of the bag now. Everyone knows I will soon be an amputee. Very scary thought. Also exciting about all the things I will be able to do. But terrifying! Also, something I didn't expect, I'm even terrified of hitting the publish button on this post. Putting it out there for everyone to know and judge me for. Here goes everything....
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